Lonely Housewives and Lonely People, a Novel

Lonely Housewives and Lonely People, a Novel

By

Tommy Franks, Ph.D.


Copyright © 2007 Tommy Franks
All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
All rights reserved under International Copyright Law.
International Standard Book Number: 0‑926044‑56‑7

Contents and/or cover may not be reproduced in whole or in part in any form without the express written consent of the Publisher.

Due to the Author's prerogative, some words are in small letters and some are capitalized for clarity and emphasis and not necessarily in accordance with standard grammatical practice. Whenever pronouns or gender references appear in this book, they refer to both male and female unless otherwise noted.

This is a fictional book. Any references to past or current events, people, places, or towns are entirely coincidental.
First Printing 2007

DEDICATION

I dedicate this incredible book to my faithful and lovely wife (Karen Lovejoy Franks) who has encouraged me to write books, articles, and poems.

INTRODUCTION

This fictional book is about aggressive and lonely housewives in a small Southern town in which we will call “Waterford”. This is a “fictional” name. Please do not speculate about any similarities of realism. This astonishing story is filled with humor, passion, love, intrigue, lies, deceit, promiscuity, and a lot of truth. It describes some of our current society’s precarious morals, unsteady values, perilous sins, and passionate desires. Some of the fictional characters in this story are individuals who have had difficulties in dealing with their own sexuality and identity. In short, sometimes their various temptations get the best of them. At times, it will seem as if almost every adult in Waterford is committed to some type of sexual temptation, either mentally or physically.

Are these passionate fictional individuals an evil group of people? No! Are they human? Yes! That is why I am writing this book. I was born and reared in a small Southern town…so I pretty well know the lay of the land. I know the people. For the most part, Southerners are good, honest, and hard working people; however, as we all know… sometimes, things get out of hand!

If you are human, read this book. If you like humor and intrigue, read this book. If you are a self-righteous individual, you may have difficulties and problems reading this book…or you may decide to venture out and have some imaginary fun.

From the beginning of Biblical times (Genesis 6), man/woman has had desires that have led to tons of trouble within our society. Sodom and Gomorrah had trouble when the men of the city attempted to have sexual intercourse with two angels. Lot impregnated his own two daughters.

Leah bargained with Rachel over an aphrodisiac (mandrakes) that her oldest son Reuben had found in the field (Genesis 30). In exchange for the aphrodisiac, Leah got to sleep all night with Jacob. The Bible does not say what Rachel did with the aphrodisiacs...but many believe she used them to make love with Jacob. Later, she did have two of his sons.

Another time in this same book (Genesis 34), Shechem, a young prince, raped Dinah, the daughter of Jacob and Leah. Afterwards, Dinah's brothers, Simeon and Levi went into the city of the rapist and killed him along with all the males to include the father of the criminal.

After the death of his wife, Judah, one of the twelve sons of Israel, decided that he wanted the services of a harlot (prostitute)(Genesis 38). They negotiated the terms. He slept with her and she became pregnant with his child. However, he did not know that she was Tamar (his daughter‑in‑law). Therefore, in about three months he learned that his daughter‑in‑law had played the harlot and was now pregnant.

Judah said, "Bring her here. We will burn her with fire until she is dead. We will teach her better than to be a prostitute."

As they were bringing her out for her execution, she said, "I am pregnant by the man who owns this seal, cord, and staff. Do any of you recognize them?"

Then suddenly, Judah knew that he was in fact the father of the child. He said, "Let her alone, for she is more righteous than I. I am the father."

Later, she had twins.

As children, we learned the story of David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11). David was the king of the entire country. He was married. He was supposed to be out fighting a war; but instead, he was laying up in bed fantasizing about another man's wife. Finally, his passion could take it no longer; therefore, he sent for her and committed sexual adultery with her immediately. She became pregnant with his child. David eventually had Bathsheba's husband murdered. Did he repent? Yes.

Today, within our society, we have all kinds of prostitution. Even though this book is fictional, you will think that you are reading today's newspaper or watching the local news from your living room. What is "prostitution"? In the Hebrew, it means to commit fornication or adultery, play the harlot or whore. In the Greek, it means idolater, harlot, or whore. In today's language, it means an individual who sells his/her body for the purpose of sexual intercourse. The price tag may not always be paid in dollars. It may be paid in special favors or power.

The novel that you are about to read will hit close to home. Some of the events will be shocking; nevertheless, as real as life. Many are going on in your own community right now. The TRAGEDY is not prostitution...But when sins of this magnitude take over an entire church and community.

FIRST WORDS

Many people who read this book will think that I am blatantly and overtly criticizing the Church. That is certainly NOT my intent. My purpose in writing this book is to allow you the freedom to think and to admit that changes are needed in our society, especially the Church. We need to communicate more. We need to cast out the two‑by‑four that is in our own eye before we can see how to cast out the splinter from our neighbor's eye. We need to have more compassion and be more caring, regardless of a person's past. Any fool can criticize...and most fools do.

This is not a sex book, but it is a book about sexual sins and other issues of morality found within the Church environment. The following stories allow you to see what has been going on for decades behind closed doors within the church community. How do I know? For one thing...I am familiar with the church scene. Actually, anyone involved in the Church today… could have written this book!

BOTTOMLINE

Even though this is a novel, much truth will be found on every page. Sins within the Church come in all sizes and packages. Some people will prostitute themselves for a song...others for much more. Nonetheless, in this novel you will find all the ingredients that encompass prostitution in the church...such as...greed, thirst for power, wickedness, adultery, selfishness, lies, sexual depravity, and all sorts of other deviant behavior.

BOTTOMLINE: There is nothing new under the sun. It stands to reason that if prostitution was found in the first book of the Bible almost 6000 years ago, it would still be found in the church today.

THE SEDUCTIVE CHOIR DIRECTOR

The First Church on Blue Street in Waterford was a typical southern church in the Bible belt of America. The 650 parishioners were a mixture of middle class America to include both blue collar and white collar. The town of Waterford was a sleepy little giant that had a lot of energetic people who were very rapidly getting bored. They wanted more out of life...but exactly what...they had no idea! Then enters the Blue Street Sultry and Sensuous Choir Director…Read on.

Jack Spillane was a brilliant young college student who had everything going for him. He was the Class President and, in general, just about everybody liked him. His grades were excellent. His future looked bright ahead...until he began singing in the choir at The First Church on Blue Street.

Jack was still trying to find himself. He had given up on the church of his parents and had been going to the Blue Street Church for about a month. One Sunday morning during the worship hour, all parishioners were given a lengthy questionnaire to complete and drop in the offering plate as soon as possible. Since Jack had sung in the choir in his previous church and was presently involved in college drama and music, he decided to sign up for the Church Choir.

A few weeks later, immediately after choir rehearsal, Mrs. Julie Brown (the attractive, energetic, and red headed choir director) asked Jack to stay around for a few minutes. She wanted to talk to him about private lessons...chorus lessons.

"Jack, how long have you been singing?"

"Mrs. Brown, I've been singing in church since I was a small boy."

"Please, don't call me Mrs. Brown. You can call me Julie. I'm not old fashioned. Most of the time, I feel like I'm sixteen again, especially when I'm around someone as handsome as you. Do you get my drift, Jack?"

By now, Jack was almost speechless, but he managed to mutter, "Well...thank...you Mrs., I mean Julie. I really do not know what to say...except, you are nice looking...I mean..."

Julie Brown could see his innocence and embarrassment, so she responded, "Why, thank you Jack. That is so sweet of you. Look...what I really wanted to talk to you about...is this. I believe you have great singing ability and a good ear for music. With some of my private tutoring, you will become a tremendous gospel soloist. Therefore, if your schedule permits, this Saturday afternoon, let's get together at my house for your first private lesson. I'll call you later for the time and directions to our home. My husband is away on business, but that will be OK because the first lesson won't take long. See you then…Okay?"

Without the slightest clue, Jack said, "Sure...I'll see you later."

For the next couple of days, Jack's college schedule was hectic. He was now in his second year and the science courses seemed to get more difficult each semester. He was so busy until he had forgotten all about the conversation with Mrs. Brown.

On Friday evening, the telephone rang. "Is that you, Jack? How is my star singer doing?"

Jack recognized her voice. He replied, "Mrs. Brown...I mean Julie, yes, I'm doing fine. I've had a few busy days, but everything is cool."

"Good then, I'll see you tomorrow. Let's make it 2 PM. Is that good for you, Jack?"

"Yes, sounds good."

"And Jack, I live at 786 Oak Street."

"OK, I'll see you about 2."

The next morning Jack called his girlfriend, Susie Jones, and told her that he would pick her up at 7 PM that evening. They planned to go to the movies at the shopping mall.

The afternoon was humid. The sky was deep blue. Jack arrived at 786 Oak Street at 2 PM sharp. He rang the door bell and waited. Nothing happened. He rang the door bell again. This time he could hear movement in the house. The front door opened. Julie was dressed to kill. She was wearing a short white skirt and a navy type blouse with the top two buttons unbuttoned. Her make‑up was fresh and bright. "Come on in, Jack. Sorry, but I was in the bedroom getting dressed when I saw your car pull up," Julie explained.

As Jack came into the foyer, he said, "No problem, I'm normally early anyway. And I'm so excited about my singing and getting training...from someone like you...who has so much to offer."

"Well, thank you, my dear Jack. You certainly know how to make a woman feel good about herself. Look, sit down and get comfortable. I'll get us some lemonade."

In a few moments, Julie returned with some ice‑cold sweet lemonade...slices of lemon in each glass.

She said, "Ok Jack, let's see what you can do. Come with me to the piano. I'll play. You sing. Let's start with the classy one 'You Are My Light'. Do you know that one?"

"Yes indeed. Play it in C. I love that song."

Jack Spillane sang his heart out for the next thirty minutes or so. Mrs. Brown gave him positive feedback and only minor correction. Finally, she said, "Let's take a break. I'll get some more lemonade. Sit down on the sofa and relax for a few minutes."

Julie returned with the delicious cold lemonade and handed Jack his refill. She then sat down beside him.

"Jack, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? Do you have many girlfriends?"

"Not really. Susie and I have been going together for about a year though. She is a year younger than I am...but we have a lot in common."

"Well, tell me something, Jack. You have such big arms and thighs. Does Susie like your body? Or are you still a virgin?"

"Pardon me, Mrs. Brown. What?"

"Are you still a virgin? Have you ever been with a woman? You know...slept with a woman?"

"Oh...no...not really. I've made out before, but not actually going all the way. My parents always taught against that sort of thing."

"Then you really do not know what its like to have passionate sex with a woman, do you? I mean…to really have excitement in your life...to be with a woman that wants you."

That day, Mr. Jack Spillane lost his innocence to the Sultry and Sensuous Choir Director. By the way, she is still the number one choir director in The First Church on Blue Street.

THE EVANGELIST

A few weeks later Jack Spillane met with the Reverend Mr. Abraham Black, the senior pastor of The First Church on Blue Street. In confidence, Jack shared with Pastor Black what had happened that afternoon with Mrs. Julie Brown. "She just came onto me like lightning. Her hands were everywhere...in my shirt...my hair…my face. It happened so fast. And Pastor...God forgive me, but I'm guilty as sin. I knew it was wrong, but the die had been cast. I was just too weak to make a stand," Jack confessed.

"My son, don't stop there. Go on. After all, confession is good for the soul. What else happened on that steamy afternoon?

"Well Pastor Black, the rest is history. Of course...now and then, I fantasize about it. Is that wrong? What do I do?"

"Son, you must pray real hard and take lots of cold showers. By the way, we are starting our annual revival next week. The evangelist is an excellent speaker. I believe you will profit by his sermons."

"OK, Pastor...Thanks for listening. I'll see you Sunday morning."

On Sunday morning the Reverend Mr. Black preached another fiery message about the evils of sin. He could see the smiling face of Mrs. Julie Brown sitting in the choir. Some day he would have to have a long talk with her, but not now. The revival would start that evening.

Many new converts were added to the church the following Sunday. The revival was being categorized as a tremendous success.

The evangelist, Reverend Harry Dock, was a flamboyant and flashy individual. He could have you crying one minute and laughing the next. The people loved him. Sometimes he was loud. Others, he was soft spoken. And my, my...how he could quote scriptures!

So the time had come for the last night of the revival. At the close of the service, the evangelist said, "Tonight, after the service, I'll be going on to Savannah. If there are any young men here that are contemplating...going into the ministry or would like to learn more about the ministry, you are welcome to join me for a few days at my next appointment."

After church, Jack Spillane talked with Evangelist Dock for several minutes. Bottomline ...Jack decided to go with him for a couple of days. For one thing, the past few days had meant a lot to Jack. The preaching had made him feel good about himself and his soul again.

Jack said goodbye to his girlfriend, Susie Jones, and to some of his fellow choir members. The evangelist, Reverend Harry Dock, expressed his appreciation to the Senior Pastor and board members for the large generous gift and gratuity that he had received. And then they were off...

Evangelist Dock and Jack drove for about seventy five miles. It was getting late; therefore, Reverend Harry said, "We might as well get a room for the night. We'll drive on in tomorrow and meet Pastor Slim Johnson of The First Church on Bay Road. Meanwhile, we need to get some rest."

After getting a room with two double beds at the Blueridge Motel, Jack fell asleep almost immediately. About 3 AM, he was abruptly awakened by someone or something rubbing against his legs. The next thing he knew, someone was on top of him. Jack shouted, "What the world is going on?"

He turned on the light and to his surprise and astonishment...there was the Reverend Harry Dock trying to put the make on him.

Jack immediately started putting his clothes on.

"What are you doing, Jack. I just thought we'd have a little fun. I didn't mean to upset you," the evangelist proclaimed.

"Look, I know you are a preacher and you probably get lonely at times, but don't ever touch me again. I'm certainly no angel. Neither am I gay. Stay away from me."

"All right...all right. I'm sorry. I did not mean to frighten you."

"I'm sorry too. I'm leaving. I'm out of here. I'll catch a ride back home."

As Jack was leaving, the evangelist tried to give him a hundred dollar bill; nevertheless, he refused it and ran out the door.

Weeks past. Once again, Jack found himself in the office of the Reverend Mr. Abraham Black. "There I was minding my own business...sleeping and trying to get some rest. I cannot believe things like this happen. Everyone here at Blue Street just loved him. How did he turn out that way? Do you think he is gay?

"My son, there are many things that we do not understand. What Harry Dock did was not right. But we must forgive him. He is in God’s Hands. I am sorry that you were frightened and had to experience something like this against your will. Hopefully, Reverend Black will get some counseling.”

THE SCAM

The First Church on Blue Street was beginning to bust out at the seams. They were now having two services on Sunday mornings to accommodate the people. Everyone seemed to just love the Reverend Mr. Black until...

Apparently, two of his elders (Joseph Pine and Timothy Little) had been stirring up strife among the membership. The word from the grapevine was..."Pastor Black is just too sympathetic toward people and favors the younger crowd too much. He needs to preach more 'fire and brimstone' sermons. He's getting too soft."

Both Pine and Little said. "We as elders know what is best for this congregation. We have been in this church a long, long time."

For the next three months, they said all kinds of nasty things behind Pastor Abraham Black's back. They accused him of being too soft...later, of being insensitive...and eventually, of not being in touch with his parishioners. But, no one paid nay attention to their accusations until...

One Sunday evening after the short service, Elders Pine and Little met at Martha's Diner.

"Look here, Joe. We're losing our power over this congregation. They think Pastor Black is some kind of saint. We must stop this character from being such a strong figure with this local assembly. After all, we've been here for them for over twenty years. Who does this Black fellow think he is?" asked Tim.

Elder Joseph Pine responded, "I'll tell you what we are going to do. We are going to call in one of our markers. Jill St Cloud owes us a couple of favors. Remember the night she spent with Deacon Jones when her husband was out of town on business? Listen, here's what we'll do..."

The following week, Elder Pine met secretly with Mrs. Jill St Cloud in the Wall Mart parking lot. As they were sitting in her Park Avenue Buick, Pine said, "Listen, we need a favor from you. As you know, right now we are having difficulties with the Reverend Mr. Black. He has gotten too big for his pants. He is gaining too much influence and power in our little town of Waterford. The people are placing too much confidence in him. This has got to cease. Who does he think he is?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Well, you're a beautiful and sexy woman. You figure it out. And by the way, this meeting never happened. Okay?"

"I believe I get the picture. After I do this shady favor for you and Tim, I want you to leave me and my family alone. What's in the past is in the past. Do you get my drift?"

"Yes. Don't worry about it. Your secret is safe with us forever!"

In a few days, Mrs. Jill St Cloud called the pastor.

"Pastor Black, I have a personal problem. I need your help. I need your professional advice. Can you come over, perhaps tomorrow morning and have coffee and donuts with me? We'll talk about it then. I can't talk to you on the phone about it. It's too sensitive."

"Tomorrow is not a good time for me, Mrs. St Cloud. What about 9 AM on Thursday morning? But forget the donuts. I do not need the fat pills. OK?"

"That'll be fine with me. I'll be ready for you. See you then."

The Reverend Mr. Black didn't have a clue as to what was about to happen. He had never dealt with anything like this before. He was a man full of integrity and goodness. But now, through no fault of his own, his reputation was all about to take a nosedive and his life would never be the same again.

Pastor Black dropped by the church office on Thursday morning for a few minutes to listen to his phone mail and get his messages. He told his secretary, Mrs. Jody Brown, that he was scheduled to counsel with Mrs. St Cloud for a few minutes at her home and would return in about an hour.

When he arrived at 8:55 AM, everything seemed normal. The aroma of the freshly cut lawn, the beautiful flower garden, and fresh coffee were especially noticeable. The morning paper was still in the driveway. To be courteous, Pastor Black picked up the paper to give to Jill when she opened the door.

He rang the door bell. Jill, still dressed in her housecoat, opened the door and invited him in.

"Listen, Jill...Maybe now is not a good time to talk to you about your problem. You're still dressed in your nightclothes."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe this would be better..."

She turned and immediately took off her bright red, silk robe. To the pastor's surprise, she had nothing on underneath. She was completely naked. Before he knew what was happening, she grabbed him with both hands and laid a lip lock on him. He squirmed and wriggled until he got free.

"What the world is the matter with you? You are a married woman. I'm a married man. We are Christians. I am the pastor of The First Church on Blue Street. What you have just done is wrong. It's very wrong. Tell me, what's going on here?"

As she quickly put her robe back on, she said, "Pastor Black, I don't know what came over me. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. As you probably know, my husband and I have not been getting along too well lately. Again, I'm very sorry."

"Listen, young lady, you both need help. I suggest you call my secretary and make an appointment. Next time, make sure you bring your husband with you because under the circumstances, I will not counsel you alone. I'll see my own self out."

On the way back to the church, the Reverend Mr. Black could not believe what had just happened to him. "The whole world has gone crazy," he thought.

Meanwhile, back at Jill St Cloud's, the plot thickens. The two elders (Pine and Little) who had been parked down the street…were now at Jill's planning the next strategic step in their dastardly deeds.

"OK, OK, I got everything on video tape. You can edit the tape anyway you like. Here's the tape. Now go and don't ever bother me again. You hear? You two "so called" elders make me sick at my stomach. Pastor Black is a good man."

About this time, Elder Little said, "You shut your little mouth. Remember who's holding the goods on you? And don't you dare get smart with us, you worthless hussy."

"You've got what you want...now get out of my house."

The two elders went back to their car and sped away.

A couple of weeks past and just two days before the next church board meeting, Pine and Little made an appointment with the pastor.

"How are you two doing?" asked Pastor Black.

Elder Pine responded, "We're doing great; however, we didn't come here to talk about us. We came to talk about your situation. We have warned you several times in the past year to tighten up. We have given you suggestions about what we wanted you to preach...but no, you have done things your own way. You have not listened to anything we have said. It's like you are deaf or something. Well, that's all coming to a rapid end now. We want your resignation or..."
"Or you'll do what. Don't you know there are eight other men on the board? And even then, it takes 3/4's majority vote of the congregation to force me to resign."

"Black, I guess you think we are stupid or something. We were not born yesterday. We have been in the way (the Bible Way) for a long time. People respect us around here. This is our little town. We have influence here. The people trust us," Little said.

With a smirk on his face, Pine shook his fist in the pastor's face and said, "We've finally got you. Your little game is up. You see this video tape in my hand? Let me show you something."

Both elders brought in the VCR and started rolling the tape. The tape showed Pastor Black kissing a naked lady in whom it was quite evident, was not his wife. Audio had been added for effect.

"So this is what's going on. This is about the lowest scheme that I have ever seen in my life. You two men need to repent of your evil deeds. This is outrageous, scandalous, contemptible, and disgraceful."

Little replied, "We concur. That's why, in two days you are going to resign. Because if you don't, the entire town will see this tape. Then, what will you do? You better start cleaning out your desk right away...You know what I mean?"

"You two guys are full of deceitfulness and dishonesty. You're not honorable men. You know in your hearts that the tape is a lie. I'm not perfect, but I would never do anything as despicable as what you have suggested. I love my family, this church, and community too much for this sort of thing."

"We totally agree with you. We admire you. Apparently, you don't get the message. This is not about whether you are a good man. That's immaterial. We want you out of here. We have lost control of this congregation...and we want it back; therefore, we are doing just that...taking back what belongs to us. Goodbye, Mr. Abraham Black," said Joseph Pine.

Two days later, one hour before the church board meeting, the Reverend Mr. Abraham Black...better known as an honorable man and one of the founding pastors of The First Church on Blue Street in the quiet town of Waterford...shot himself with a borrowed .357 magnum. He died instantly.

THE BREWING OF A LOVE AFFAIR

Several days later at the funeral, the chief elder (Mr. Joseph Pine) and his sidekick (Mr. Timothy Little), participated in Pastor Black's eulogy. With tears in his eyes, Pine said. "This man was above reproach. He was kind, honest, and had a heart for the people. This tragic event will have an effect upon each of us in this city. I cannot believe he's gone!"

With handkerchief in hand, Little said, "We have lost a true hero...a man of integrity and dignity. And as all of you know, our grievous loss is heaven's gain. He will never again suffer pain or grief or sorrow. To this great man of statue, we salute and say, 'Farewell, good soldier, farewell'".

The following Friday at noon, Elders Pine and Little met at their favorite gossip center, Martha's Diner, for lunch. "Well, life must go on. You know, the Assistant Pastor, Johnny Tune is a pretty good old boy. He's one of us. Now that he's the Senior Pastor, we can run this church the way that we know best. After all, who knows this congregation better than we?" asked Pine.

"You're absolutely right, Joe. I believe we can work with Tune. He seems to have his head screwed on right. He is younger and talks our language, too. He likes money, luxury cars, fancy clothes, nice homes, golf, and beautiful women. He has an unholy animosity for the Welfare Programs of this country. He thinks that our taxes are too high. He does not like Social Security taxes. He does not like foreign investments. And he thinks the present Washington Administration needs some serious discipline."

They continued to plan their strategy over the lunch hour. Suddenly, Little asked, "But what about his wife? Isn't she one of those right wing liberals that preaches Women's Lib?"

"Yes, I think so...but lately, she has been giving me more than the right hand of fellowship. She smiles at me and...once, even winked," Pine said.

"Get out of here, you sly dog. You're not saying what I think, are you?"

"Yes, I am, Tim. She has the hots for me...I can feel it."

"Well, if that's true, please use discretion. After all, you are one of the chief elders of The First Church on Blue in beautiful downtown Waterford. Be careful."

Two months later in one of the adult Sunday School classes, a heated discussion centered around the topic "Women in the Home". Some of the men got real upset with Tamie Tune, the wife of the Senior Pastor, Johnny Tune.

Her philosophy gave vent to several concepts that rubbed some of the men the wrong way. For example, Tamie said, "I believe a woman should have the right to pursue a career if she so desires. If she does work outside the home, then her husband should share in the responsibilities of home chores...dishes...laundry...making beds...and other duties as required. On the other hand, I do not believe that a woman should have to go out and get a job unless she chooses to do so. In this case, the husband should make a decent living for her and the family. The problem that I have seen in this generation is...some men are slothful, lazy, and just plain loafers."

The discussion was heated until the teacher (Elder Timothy Little) had to dismiss the class early before a fight broke out.

As everyone was leaving, Little asked, "Could I speak with you a moment, Mrs. Tune?"

"Of course you can. I would just love to talk with you for awhile."

"Listen, you were pretty rough on the men, weren't you? They are from the old school. Most of them think that a woman should be seen and not heard. I can tell you right now...you did not make any new friends among the men today. And the next thing they will do is...ostracize you and forbid their wives from speaking with you".

"OK, OK. Tell me something, then. Where do you stand in all of this? Are you a man or are you one of these wimps around here? I'd like to see a real man."

"Tamie, I'll tell you what. Let's meet for coffee Tuesday morning...say around 10 AM at Martha's Diner on Main Street...and we'll discuss these issues then. Okay? Is that a deal?"

"You got it. I'll see you then...and don't disappoint me."

A few minutes later in Worship Service, Tune and Little really looked each other over during the preaching of the sermon by Pastor Johnny Tune, Tamie's husband. He preached his heart out on that hot and unforgettable morning. The subject: "Adultery, Prostitution, and Power."

Quite paradoxical and ironic, wouldn't you agree? Two days later, the two incorrigibles and shameless church members began a steamy, erotic, passionate, and burning love affair! Read on...

THE AFFAIR

Tuesday morning in Waterford seemed to begin like any other morning for a small southern town. The temperature at 7 AM was 72 degrees and the humidity was 85%. Rain was in the forecast. Traffic was moderate. Things seemed so normal.

Pastor Tune awoke about 6:30...got up...got dressed...ate some Corn Flakes...and took off for another adventurous and intrepid day at The First Church on Blue Street.

For Tamie Tune, it was another story.

She got out of bed whistling and singing. She was all excited about having coffee with Elder Tim Little. Her mind was wandering restlessly. She had thought of this day at least a dozen times in the past 24 hours and even fantasized about Tim.

At 10:15 AM as Tamie and Tim were having their coffee at Martha's Diner, Tamie asked, "Well, are you?"

"What's that, Tamie?"

"Are you a real man? Or are you a wimp like so many others around here?"

"First, let me ask you a question, Tamie. What is your definition of a real man?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Yes, I do. I really want to know...once and for all...I want to know."

"OK, big guy...follow me to my bedroom and we'll find out if you are a real man."

"What the world are you saying? Your husband is the Pastor of The First Church on Blue Street in this town. Don't you have any decency and virtue left?"

"What's the matter? Am I too hot for you to handle? Do you have the guts or not? You do find me attractive, don't you?"

"Yes, extremely. You are slim, trim, and beautiful. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"

As Tamie stood up, she said, "Let's do it and let's do it now. We do not have time to waste sitting here drinking coffee and shooting the breeze."

Thus began a two year love affair that ended only when Tamie got pregnant...and eventually had an abortion by an out of state doctor.

Meanwhile though, they had sexual encounters all over town...parking lots, back street alleys, the Little's mountain cabin, every motel in town, several business trip rendezvous, and many other secret trysts. Tamie and Tim were consumed with adulterated lust. Because of their extracurricular activities, they each lost ten pounds in three weeks.

During the two year lustful affair, they both continued their Sunday School class discussions every Sunday morning with about fifty others in attendance. Elder Little taught the adult class as a learned theologian and Mrs. Tune sat on the front row and stirred up the people with her liberalized views on everything from abortion to homosexuality to euthanasia. Many times she would go on a "man bashing" spree and had a lot of fun doing it. Most of the men would get fighting mad.

However, one time...not only did a fervent and sizzling discussion develop, but also a fist fight broke out in the middle of the classroom.

Tamie started the ruckus when she said, "I think we ought to go out and start feeding all the homeless in this town. They really need our help. Some "so‑called" members of this church only think of themselves. And some others even think the homeless are just scum and the lowest form of life. Well, let me tell you something. It's an indictment against this church."

"Now, you hold on there, Tamie. That's a big fat lie. As a deacon of this church, we ARE doing something. Currently, we are providing three lunches a week for the homeless and every once and awhile, we give out shoes," replied Deacon Jones.

Deacon Charles Berry spoke up, "Jones, you're out of line. Don't you be calling the Pastor's wife a liar, you hear? She may be a lot of things, but she is not a liar."

"You shut your face, you little liberal. This woman comes in this class and causes nothing but trouble every Sunday...and everybody knows it, especially you. This used to be a great Sunday School Class, but now, we constantly argue," screamed Jones.

Suddenly, without warning, Jones received a blow to his head and the fight was on between Berry and Jones. Pow…scratch, bang, boom, crash, whack, and punch were the sounds that came exploding from inside the hot little room in the educational plant of The First Church on Blue Street.

Eventually, the fight was stopped...but only after Jones took a folding chair and hit Berry in the back. Both were hurt...Berry critically. An ambulance came and hauled them away to Mercy Hospital.

Afterwards, Tamie Tune said, "Well, sometimes men will be men and act like little boys. After all, men are just boys grown up...at least some have grown up."

She smiled...got in her Mercedes...waved through the tinted window and drove off.

THE TEMPTATION

Several months passed. The church was growing. People were giving faithfully in the offerings. A time of healing and peaceful bliss were focusing on the minds of the parishioners. They seemed to be enjoying themselves more than ever before, even in the midst of the lean and weak economy. People seemed to be more open and honest than usual. It was time for another revival...

Evangelist Bob Shell arrived on Saturday afternoon. He was welcomed by several of the deacons and elders. Pastor Johnny Tune was out of town on a speaking engagement. He was scheduled to return the following morning...in time to kick off the first service of the six day revival.

Meantime, Elder Dale Dickens escorted the evangelist to the Holiday Inn and got him settled in his room.

"Listen, one of the staff members will pick you up in the van tomorrow morning...about 9 AM for the first service. We also have the second service at 11. It's my understanding that you are suppose to speak in both. See you tomorrow. If you need anything, call the church office or the other number I gave you earlier," said Elder Dickens.

"Okay, see you later", responded Shell.

The evening was progressing very nicely when Evangelist Shell heard a knock at his door.

"Now, who could that be?" he thought to himself.

Shell opened the door. There stood a beautiful, attractive young lady with deep blue eyes and long blonde hair.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Certainly, you may. Here, sit right over there by the TV. What's up?"

"You don't know me. My name is Mary O'Leary. I'm on the Welcome Committee for the church. I just dropped by to see if you needed anything…anything at all. After all, you are on the road a lot, away from your wife and family...and I'm sure you get lonely at times. Therefore, with that said, if I can be of any assistance, anything at all, you let me know."

"What did you have in mind, Ms. O'Leary?"

"Well...perhaps, you may need a massage or a rubdown while you're here in our wonderful city. If you do, you just feel free to call me. I'm available night or day. I'm at your beckoning call. OK? And please, you can call me Sister Mary."

"All right, Sister Mary, if I need anything else while I'm here in Waterford, I'll call you. Goodnight, my dear."

For the next few nights, Evangelist Shell preached some rather hellfire and brimstone sermons. The people liked him. The deacons liked him. The elders even liked him...and Mary O'Leary certainly liked him and wanted him.

He managed to call his lovely wife and children every day. He even wrote her a poem and faxed it to her one morning. It was called:

“The Godly Wife and Mother”

Sweetheart, as my wonder Wife, you are very SPECIAL to me.
You have given me warmth when I have been cold.
At times, I have been too anxious about things, but you have been so bold.
At times, I have been weak with my strength almost gone,
But YOU have always been so strong.
I had a fever on my brow,
You came and comforted me and prayed.
A beautiful smile came over your face
When you saw the Lord's amazing grace.

As the Mother of our children, you are SPECIAL.
Your children really love you.
While I'm away, please get some well deserved rest.
Your fervent prayers have stood the test
Thanks for loving me and not being afraid to invest.
Hopefully, after all these years, I'm still on your mind.
You're a woman, wife, and mother after God’s kind.
My Love, you make my life so wonderful and glad.
You have made me one happy husband and real fine Dad! I love you!


One evening as he returned to the motel, he was not prepared for what he found. He opened the door to his suite, and guess what? That's right. Dear Sister O'Leary was there waiting for him.

"What are you doing here? Who let you in my room? Look, I'm a married man. You need to go right now."

"Bobby, I thought you might want a backrub and some company. Don't tell me you do not get lonely at times. I don't believe that for a second. Let me give you a hot soapy bath and a long massage and afterwards we'll...."

"Mrs. O'Leary, stop! Yes, I do get lonely at times. And yes...I do like to talk to people, especially when I spend so much time studying and being on the road. Nevertheless, you must go. You are very attractive and it's thoughtful of you to think about my needs. But as I stated earlier, I'm a happily married man with three wonderful children. You are a kind person. I know your husband must really appreciate a good and benevolent woman like you.

Mary said, "If you only knew how much I wanted you...Don't you find me desirable? Are you saying that you don't want me? What are you saying?"

"Ms. Mary, it's quite the contrary and diametrically the opposite; however, as I have now repeated for a third time, I...Mr. Bob Shell, am a faithful and contented and happy married man who adores his wife very much. I must now say 'GOODBYE' to you, Mary O'Leary."

"Then, you do desire me, but you'd rather remain faithful to your wife?"

"Exactly...You are very, very attractive. My flesh cries out for you, but it would be so wrong for us to do such a thing. And let me say this to you in private. As a man, this has been an extremely strong temptation. If it had been at another time in my life, I don't think I would have past the exam. Now, give me that key and go."

"OK, OK. I'm going. And don't forget to take a good cold shower. Bye."

Evangelist Shell gave a sigh of relief as soon as Mary left. He immediately locked the door. And then headed straight for the cold shower. He had past the test...at least for now.

THE GREEDY TREASURER

For many years, Deacon James Smith, a local banker had been the church treasurer. His claim to fame was his experience with money and making money. As a matter of truth, Deacon James loved money more than life itself. He was an excellent accountant and CPA; however, his downfall was the love of money. He would sell his own mother for a few bucks. He had tried marriage more than once, but his three ex‑wives complained of his selfish, stingy, and tyrannical behavior. They each divorced him within a year.

For twelve years, Smith had been embezzling money from the church. He was somewhat of a genius with money schemes. He was sly as a fox. Since he donated a lot of his accounting abilities to the church as free gratis, no one would suspect or even think about one of their uptown bankers being a thief. But he was a thief of the lowest kind!

One of the dastardly and depraved deeds that he prided himself in...was the scheme he used to rip‑off and deceive the IRS. Every Sunday evening, he would write a check to the church for all the loose change that had been collected in all the offerings of the day, to include the Sunday School offerings and special missions’ offerings. Sometimes, this could amount to a lot of money. Over a year's time, it amounted to several thousand dollars. He had told the church board that he was an avid coin collector.

At the end of the year for tax purposes, this is what he would do: Besides the offerings that he legitimately gave and the tax write‑off he received for volunteered services rendered, he also claimed a tax credit for all the checks that he had written for the loose change. According to his tax returns, his tax deductible contributions amounted to more than one third of his income.

Lying to the IRS was one thing, but how was he stealing from the church?

Our sly Deacon Smith had two sets of books. One set of books was the set in which the board members and any auditing or accounting firm had access. The other set was secretly hidden away for his eyes only. He knew...right to the penny how much was actually in the church account. After all, the church's account was in his bank. He was no novice at this sort of thing and his lavish lifestyle showed it.

Since he was an outstanding citizen of Waterford...president of a local bank...a generous contributor to the church and community, who would ever suspect this sly fox of stealing from the coffers? Read on…

Mr. James Smith had a big mouth. He liked to brag a lot.

It was the Fourth of July week-end. Deacon Smith had been to the Daytona Beach 500 International Stock Car Race with an old friend, Sister Mary O'Leary. They had spent the week-end together and were returning in his Mercedes to the holy city of Waterford. Just outside of Savannah, they stopped at the Ramada Inn.
"We might as well spend the night here since it's getting so late. We'll drive on in tomorrow...if that's OK with you, Mary," said Smith.

"Oh, sure, that's fine with me."

After they got checked into their suite, James asked, "Mary, would you like to have a drink or two before dinner and kind of relax for a few minutes?"

"Yes, I think that would be rather nice and cozy."

They went to the Sahara Bar and Restaurant and began their evening of fun, food, fellowship, martinis, screwdrivers, jokes, and revelry. The night was young. Smith felt like talking. He let his guard down and initiated the following conversation.

"Mary, I enjoy your company. I really do. You and I have a lot in common and even share some of the same goals. We both have expensive taste. We like a higher quality of life...the finer things...expensive homes, luxury cars, jewelry, and we like to make out. Not only do we enjoy money, but we also like what money will buy."

"Well, Jim, I'll tell you something. You will always be my friend. You are highly intelligent. You are unselfish and kind. You go to church on a regular basis. You have made personal sacrifices in order to give up a lot of your time to be a deacon and the Treasurer of our church...and above all, you're excellent in bed."

"Speaking about the Office of Treasurer...you know, I believe I have done a jam‑up job as Treasurer for the past twelve years. Did you know that every year...we have an outside audit...and for the last twelve years, they have not found one error? So that proves that my keeping two sets of books has actually worked and that those idiots..."

"What the Sam Hill are you talking about, Jim? What do you mean...two sets of books?"

"Did I say two sets of books? I meant two sets of records...I mean, two sets of strategies. Oh, never mind...I think I've had one martini too many."

"Yeah, Ok, let's get something to eat. I could go for a big delicious T‑Bone steak about now," replied Mary.

"Sure, me too. Let's do it.

Several weeks past, but Sister Mary O'Leary could not get it off her mind. She thought about what Deacon James Smith had said about "the two sets of books".

"No, he would not steal from The First Church on Blue Street. He was a wealthy banker. He didn't need to steal. Furthermore, he owned the bank. It didn't make any sense. He loved the people and church too much."

While shopping in one of the Waterford grocery stores one afternoon, Mary bumped into one of Deacon Smith's ex‑wives, Susan. She knew Susan only casually, but she just had to ask her one question.

"Susan, I know you're in a hurry; however, I have a personal question I would like to ask you...that is, if it's OK."

"If it's about that selfish, deadbeat ex‑husband of mine, forget it. He's now behind three months on his child support payments," replied Susan.

"No, that's not it. You were married to Jim about a year, weren't you?"

"Yes, eleven months, two days, and ten hours...but who is counting?”

"Listen, did you ever hear him say anything about keeping two sets of books for the church?"

"Hmmmn, as a matter of fact, I did...but only a time or two. Jim always liked to brag about how good of an accountant he was. 'No one was ever going to find him in error,' he would say, especially after he had a few drinks."

"Susan…thanks so much. You have been very helpful...See you later."

The following Sunday morning, Mary went to see Pastor Johnny Tune in between services. "Pastor, I have a quick question. How's the money situation of this church?"

"My Dear, what on earth are you talking about?”

And for the next ten minutes, she explained to the Pastor her theory and her legitimate concerns about the church's finances.

"Mary, thank you very much for this information. I'm sure it's nothing to be alarmed about, but we'll certainly look into it the first thing tomorrow morning. OK?"

"Thank you, Pastor."

The next morning, Pastor Tune called in a friend of his, a retired detective, Andy Johnson, from Atlanta. "Andy, I need your help and professional advice. I do not think there is anything to what I'm about to tell you, but again, there might be. I must have complete confidentiality in this matter. Do you understand me?"

"Pastor, you've got it. What's up?"

"I want you to check on the finances of this church for the past ten years...contributors, amounts, dates, deposits, receipts...and oh yes, I want you to check on Deacon James Smith, the Treasurer."

"Pastor, do you think Smith is stealing from the church?"

"Andy, to be perfectly honest with you, I do not. However, since you owe me so many favors, it wouldn't hurt to check it all out..."

"You got it. I'll keep you informed...See you in a few days with my initial findings."

Andy Johnson had no idea what he would find in the next ten days. He was shocked. He could not believe his own investigative results. It just blew his mind. Upon reaching conclusive evidence of embezzlement and corruption, he called the Pastor and set up a meeting.

"Let me tell you something before we get started with this, Pastor Johnny. This is big time embezzlement. Our beloved Treasurer is going straight to hell and to jail and will not pass goal. Neither will he collect two hundred dollars ever again from this church."

"Andy, what on earth are you suggesting?"

"I'm not suggesting a thing...nothing but the cold facts. Mr. James Smith is a thief of the lowest kind. I have turned over every leaf and piece of dirt in this man's financial life. Did you know that he currently has assets in excess of ten million dollars? Did you know that he gambled away over a million dollars last year? In the past ten months, he has taken three trips to Europe, each time with a different traveling companion. Did you know that he has four Mercedes' and several other luxury cars?"

"Andy, my dear Andy, what does this have to do with Jim and his official position as Treasurer of this church? Has he embezzled any money from us or not?"

"OK, here are some more cold and calculated facts. Mr. Smith has illegally, with malice aforethought…stolen in excess of $1.5 million dollars...over the past eleven years from this holy sanctuary. He is guilty as sin...you hear me? Guilty as sin. Here are the documents to prove it."

"Let me see those documents."

Within the next 72 hours, Deacon James Smith was arrested on several charges stemming from the investigation and research initiated by Andy Johnson. All incriminating evidence and legal documents were turned over to the Waterford Police Department. They made the arrest.

Smith posted a One Hundred Thousand Dollar Bond the next day and made himself scarce around town for awhile.

Then the unexpected happened. On Monday morning, he was found hanging in the vault of his own bank...with a suicide note neatly written on bank stationary and left on his desk. In short, it read as follows:

"You thought you had me, but by now, you know that isn't true.
I'm too smart for you. I'll never spend a day in jail…perhaps in hell,
But not in jail. Yes, my downfall was money. Money was my faithful
Companion and idol. It was suppose to be my servant; nonetheless,
Somehow that got reversed. I became its slave and it became my master.
I'm so sorry that I can't stick around for the trial, but the trial would probably
Bore me. Anyway, I'll say goodbye for now...It was fun while it lasted.
I'm out of here! I win again."
Signed: Deacon James Smith

Hence, we can't throw the book at Deacon Smith, but we can close this chapter on him!

THE JUDAS

The scenario begins like this. Reverend Bubba Casey was next to the Senior Pastor, Johnny Tune, in authority and responsibility...as far as ministry to The First Church on Blue Street. The entire staff consisted of three full time ministers and two part time ministers and several staff assistants. People had a lot of confidence in Bubba Casey, especially since he had been dedicated as a child in this same church and later baptized in its baptistery.

For years...Tune and Casey were the best of friends until...

One scorching, blistering, and sweltering hot day, the Senior Pastor began looking for Bubba. He has Bubba's secretary if she had seen him.

"Why, yes, I have, Pastor. He's in a counseling session with Mrs. Margie Campbell. Her session should be up in about ten minutes, though. Is there something that I can do?"

"No, no...that's all right. I just needed to talk to him for a moment, that's all."

In a few minutes, Pastor Tune went by Bubba's office door on his way to the water fountain. As he was walking by, the Pastor heard some passionate cries and some definite sexual overtures.

Without hesitation or batting an eye, Pastor Tune opened the door immediately and asked, "What on earth is going on in here?"

Mrs. Campbell and Bubba were half nude and half dressed lying on the bright red couch next to his desk. Both were red faced and highly embarrassed. Mrs. Campbell seemed to be mortified. Bubba was speechless and trying very clumsily to get his pants on.

"Both of you get dressed and come to my office immediately. We must talk and we must talk now."

Pastor Tune went to his office with tears in his eyes. He could not believe what he had just witnessed. This was tragic in so many ways. What was he going to say? What was he going to do? Why did this happen?

Bubba Casey was his right hand man. He had depended on him for years. His integrity had been above reproach. He was one of the most giving, considerate, compassionate, understanding, and honest men he had ever met.

What was only about five minutes seemed like an eternity to Pastor Tune. "God, I don't know what to say to Bubba. He's been like a son to me. I'd rather die than counsel with him and Margie right now, but I know I must..."

The door opened and the two walked in with their heads bowed low, looking toward the dark blue carpet on the floor. Both were filled with remorse and sadness. They knew they had let their Pastor down.

With large tears in his eyes, Pastor Tune spoke very softly. "You two are like my very own children. I love you both. You are both fine people. You're hard workers in the Church. I am just appalled and dumbfounded over this type of behavior. You are both married...but to different spouses. What on earth possessed you to do such a thing, especially inside this edifice? I am so sorry. What should I do with you?”

Margie sobbed, "I'm guilty as I can be, but you haven't lived with the stupid jerk that I have lived with for the past ten years. And then...came...Bubba...my sweet Bubba. He is always so kind and comforting to me. I love him and will do anything for him... anything..."

"My Darling...I love you too, but the Pastor is right. We have greatly sinned. I have broken the trust that was commissioned to me by the people. I knew better, but I was too weak to resist. Each time we made love, I vowed that it was the last time...but our indiscretions and escapades continued," said Bubba.

"How long has this been going on?” asked the Pastor.

"For about three years, now," responded Margie.

"My God, Casey...You are the Assistant Pastor. Why didn't you come to me?"

"I wanted to; yet, I enjoyed the illicit affair. I actually looked forward to it. I know I'm sick, but I'm being honest with you."

"OK, OK. Let me think about this for a few days because I do not know what the solution or ramifications are going to be...but let me warn you right now. You two stay away from each other. Do you hear me?"

Both replied, "Yes, Pastor...we hear you."

For the next three months, Pastor Tune separately counseled Mrs. Campbell and Bubba Casey on a weekly basis. Some progress was made, but Bubba began to withdraw... since some of his duties and responsibilities were curtailed.

As time went on, Bubba began to make little critical remarks toward the Pastor to some of his close friends. He would say things like, "If I were the Senior Pastor, I'd be more in tune with the people. I'd preach shorter sermons on Sunday mornings. If I were the Senior Pastor, I'd be more understanding and sympathetic to the people's needs. I'd be more sensitive..."

This type of faultfinding and criticism eventually expanded over to members, visitors and just about anyone who would listen.

On the outside, Bubba seemed confident, compassionate, good‑natured, caring, and genuinely interested in the parishioners; nevertheless, on the inside he was developing into a carnivorous and ravenous wolf in sheep's clothing.

Remember Elders Joseph Pine and Timothy Little? Word about Bubba's discontent reached them one day when they were on the golf course. "Tim, we need to look into this. You know, Bubba is one of ours...one of the good old boys. If he is upset about something, then it's our job to rectify the situation. You know what I mean, don't you, Tim?" asked Pine.

"Yes, I believe I do, Joe. I'll look into it the first thing next week", replied Tim.

On Monday morning, Elder Tim Little, while driving his Mustang convertible, picked up his portable telephone and called Bubba. "Bubba, this is Elder Tim Little. How you doing, old boy?"

"Just fine and you?"

"Oh, I'm doing just great. Listen, meet me at Martha's Diner for lunch...say, around noon. We need to talk, good buddy. OK?"

"Sure, I think that would be great. I'll see you then."

Little and Bubba arrived about the same time. Martha's Diner was packed as usual. People drove for miles around just to partake of the good old southern fried cuisine. Her food was good. And her home made pies were sinful.

After sitting down, exchanging niceties, and ordering their Bar‑B‑Q ribs, Little said, "Ok, boy, let's talk. What's going on with you and Pastor Tune?"

Bubba began a string of lies and delivered an Oscar performance. He began, "Well, first of all...you must promise me confidentiality and anonymity. Do you get my drift?"

"Sure, you know me. I'm trustworthy. I’m as good as gold. My word is my bond. Remember, Bubba, we are of the same mold and fiber."

"OK, here's the scoop. Several months ago I caught our beloved Pastor Johnny Tune in a rather compromising situation...a sexual encounter with someone in the church. I will not divulge her identity because of my professionalism and integrity. Because she came to me for counseling, I'm sworn to secrecy to protect her and to protect the church from a scandal. Of course, Pastor Tune has threatened me with expulsion and ostracism if I come forward. Do you see what I've been carrying around with me for the past few months?"

"Yes, the whole thing seems clear to me now. This would explain the rift between you two. Bubba, you did the right thing by confiding in me. I'll call an emergency board meeting immediately. We'll take care of this matter."

"Elder Tim, I'd appreciate it if you would keep me out of this as much as possible. I do not want the people to think I'm a traitor or Judas...or that I would betray my longtime and faithful friend."

"You don't worry about a thing. That rascal will pay for this. In Waterford, we don't take too kindly to adultery. I just do not understand why Pastor Johnny would prostitute himself in this way. We pay that man well. We have taken good care of him, his wife, and family...now this. I guess lust finally overcame him. You go home and get some rest and stop worrying. The Church Board will deal with this affair."

The next evening, Elder Little opened the meeting by saying, "Gentlemen, we are here tonight to discuss the solution to our dilemma and predicament. It seems that we have ourselves in a pickle. We are a church...a well respected church. We have good people in this town. The floor is open for discussion and ideas. Who is first?"

"I move that we hang the Pastor by his toes," cried out one upset deacon.

"No, let's just kick him out gently," said another.

"I believe we should all reach a consensus tonight and then confront him," stated one of the elders.

"Of course, we're going to confront him. What the heck do you think we are going to do? But first, let’s figure out what we are going to do with him," someone else said.

After about an hour, they came up with a brilliant plan, they thought.

"OK...Does everyone agree now that we will meet with Pastor Tune on Sunday evening after church and give him our decision? Do you all agree that we will ask for his resignation at that time? Furthermore, let it be stated in the record that he has been an outstanding pastor up until now; however, under the extenuating circumstances, we must ask for his resignation. Gentlemen, are we all in agreement?" asked Elder Joseph Pine.

"Yes," came the unanimous reply.

"Then it's a done deal and we will save the church from some embarrassing and unpleasant questions," said Elder Little.

Sunday evening came. Pastor Tune preached his last sermon on Blue Street that night. The title of his sermon was "True Friends of Integrity". Quite ironic, wouldn't you say? Pastor Johnny and Tamie Tune moved on to bigger and better things. They moved to Atlanta to accept a pastorate in a larger church. In time, Pastor Tune forgave the elders, deacons, and Bubba Casey.

Years later...Pastor Tune was quoted as saying, "I have met my Judas and I am still alive. Judas made me a better man. For this I am very thankful indeed!"

THE VOYEUR

The whole town was going bananas. Reports of a "peeping tom" were rampant and intense. The Police Chief, Randolph Sweeney, had tried to calm the communities of Waterford by going on the local radio and TV stations with updated status reports.

"We're doing everything within our power to bring this individual to justice. Currently, we have several good leads. We expect to make an arrest within a few days," the Chief responded.

Within the past ten days the Waterford "peeping tom" had been seen by thirteen different women including three young teenagers. People were on edge.

One beautiful young lady with long brunette hair responded, "I was getting out of the shower and drying off when I heard a noise just outside my window. As I looked up, I saw a man with a stocking over his head with a jogging suit on. He was in no hurry. He watched me pick up the phone and dial 911. He literally just stood there looking. As I continued talking to the 911 operator, he eventually departed...What a fruitcake!"

Another attractive woman said, "I thought he was a burglar coming through the window to rob or rape me. However, he only stood there by the window looking at me. He had some sort of stupid looking stocking over his head."

Chief Sweeney hired extra off‑duty policemen from surrounding areas to assist during this time of anxiety and apprehension...in this little peaceful southern town.

The alert was on. Men were buying additional ammunition and some were even purchasing new guns. The women were using extra precautions in their homes. Shades were drawn. Doors were double locked. Dogs were placed outside homes in strategic locations.

People were asked to jog only in pairs or in groups...and to be alert for anything out of the ordinary. In a word, this sleepy little village was reacting in an irritable and angry fashion. And who could blame them?

Someone asked, "How could anyone do this to our quiet and peaceful community? Whoever this is...has got to be a sick and confused individual. But we will survive. We always have. We'll get this freak. Just wait and see."

One night after church basketball practice…at the gym located at The First Church on Blue Street…Deacon Atwater noticed that one of the players had slipped out the side door of the gym. He didn't think too much about it until the next morning. He picked up the morning paper and to his amazement...

There it was. The headlines read, "Peeping tom strikes again, this time on Blue Street."

The culprit had been spotted only two houses down from the church. This was within minutes of the time that Atwater had seen one of the players go out the side door of the gym. Who could this be? Was it someone on the church basketball team?

Deacon Atwater began to search his mind. "Let's see. On my team were Tim, Ted, Jim, and Charlie. On Elder Joseph Pine's team was Jack, Tod, Mike, and Matt. No...None of these could be the 'peeping tom'. I know these guys. They are all good, moral decent men. I must really be getting senile to think such a thing. Period."

Suddenly, it dawned on Atwater who the perpetrator was.

"What a nincompoop and dunce I've been. It was there all the time. How could I have been such a fool? How could I have overlooked it? We have been playing basketball now for several weeks...and we have been playing with a voyeur all this time. He needs help and fast. What do I do?" asked Atwater.

"No one will ever believe me. I must go secretly to Chief Sweeney. He'll know what to do."

Atwater called the Chief and said, "Chief, this is Chuck Atwater. We need to talk... quickly. I know who the peeping tom is. He is a mutual friend of ours. He needs help."

Chief Sweeney replied, "OK, meet me at Martha's Diner in half an hour."

Over a cup of hot coffee, the two began exchanging vital information. Soon, it was very evident that the voyeur was, in fact, a mutual friend.

"But how will we prove it?" asked Deacon Atwater.

The Chief replied, "I've got a plan. Shhhhh, listen to me..."

Friday night was going to be an important basketball match between The First Church and Zion Methodist. The plan was set in motion.

A lot of excitement was in the air. Much publicity had been generated and announced over the local radio stations. The two churches would share in the net proceeds (revenue) from the game's concessions and ticket sales. Three police agencies had been briefed on the plan and were indeed ready to stop this menace of the Waterford community.

Immediately after the game, one of the Blue Street players disappeared. When a count was taken of the players, sure enough, the Chief and Atwater were correct in their assumption...It was their own mutual friend who was missing...

The police went into action. Within thirty minutes, they had their suspect in custody. He had been caught five blocks away on Roosevelt Boulevard at the Mayor's residence. The Mayor's wife, Laura, had been entertaining a friend in her bedroom, at the time of the peeping tom's capture.

Apparently, the culprit was wearing women's underclothes at the time of his arrest. At least, that was the report in the gossip column of the local newspaper the next morning.

The front page of the Waterford Chronicle read, "One of our most prominent citizens has been arrested for the recent peeping tom activities in our community.”

To the right of the article was a large photo of the alleged perpetrator. As you might have guessed, it was none other than our beloved Elder Joseph Pine...

THE FUNERAL

Snow was on the ground. Seventy Five friends and family members had come to the cemetery to pay their last respects to Deacon Danny Frye. He had been a deacon for the last six years at The First Church on Blue Street. He was a man of integrity, fairness, and responsibility. He loved his wife, family, friends, and his church. Now, some of the attendees were reminiscing

Danny, age 48, had died of lung cancer. Some believed it was from smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. Danny always said, "Well, everybody's going to die of something someday…sometime."

Nevertheless, he died in just a few short weeks after the doctors gave their prognosis and overall predictions. He didn't have an enemy in the world. Everyone loved him. He would be sorely missed.

Diane Frye would certainly miss her faithful husband vehemently. Her eyes were still swollen from her tears. She asked herself, "How could this happen? Why, God, did you take Danny? He was a good man. You know everyone loved him and he loved them."

Several days earlier, Diane had been comforted by Elder Luke Cole. During the funeral arrangements, Luke assisted her with many of the burial details. It was the least he could do for the Frye family.

The night before the funeral, Luke visited the Frye family home...alone. The only person present was Diane; therefore, he went in to see if any other details needed his attention.

"Come on in, Luke. I certainly do appreciate all that you and The First Church have done for me during this terrible ordeal. I couldn't have made it without you, Luke. Come here and give me a great big hug," she loudly suggested.

That big hug turned into several hugs that evening...and eventually into several hours of bedtime together. At 3 AM, Luke said, "Look Diane, I really must be going. Now, don't you feel bad or guilty about what happened here tonight, you hear? After all, I'm sure Danny would have wanted you to be happy and taken care of...in every way. You know he wants you to be happy, don’t you?"

"Yes, I do. I'll see you at the funeral, Luke. Don't you feel guilty either," responded Diane.

Even though the ground was covered with snow, the sun came out and the funeral went rather well. The family seemed to be in good spirits. They had indeed lost a good man. Diane and Luke made eye contact at least a dozen times at the funeral and graveside ceremony...

Weeks passed. Elder Luke Cole had to be out of town on business for several days. When he returned, he had received a message to call Mrs. Frye. She wanted some advice.

Luke called her and made an appointment to see her. He told his wife, Esther, that he was assisting Diane with her insurance affairs and burial benefits.

He arrived about 8 PM. This time...he didn't leave until 4 AM. As he was putting his pants and shirt back on and preparing to leave, Diane whispered, "Luke, I need to tell you something, but I don't know how. I've been waiting for the right moment."

Luke replied, "Diane, you are so sweet; however, Sweetheart, I really must go. What is it you want to tell me?"

Diane looked at Luke…took him by the hand and said, "Luke, I'm pregnant with your child..."

Last Words

Believe it or not, every situation in this novel has actually happened in real life in various towns or cities across America. Of course, the names and places have been changed to protect the guilty. Some of you may not think that this book is appropriate; however, some of you will watch the identical thing on TV, or DVD, or at the movies and think nothing about it. Is this book appropriate for the times? I don't know. You be the judge. My intent in writing this book is not to focus on the problems or sins of the church society, but to ask the question, "What is the solution to this type of behavior displayed by some of our church members in our communities?"

You and I both know that there is only One Eternal Solution to any problem or situation on Planet Earth...and His Name is Jesus Christ! AMEN!